Chapter 12
Lucius withdraws from me, just a step, but continues to hold both of my hands in his, and his eyes are boring into mine, and gradually… I see them change again.

For the first time, I see in his complicated, often guarded eyes, the same naked need for me that I am always showing him, and I know that the last wall is breaking down between us. Lucius has told me, many times, that he loves me. And I’ve seen that love in his eyes. But never like this. He is purposely revealing himself to me – exposing his soul in a way that I know is difficult for him – and I can’t stop watching his eyes, wanting to always remember this moment, that expression.

“I’ve brought you here this evening to ask you to marry me, Antanasia,” Lucius finally says, just as I start to feel like I’m tumbling into those eyes, like I’d feared falling into a hidden abyss as we’d come to this place.

But with those words – those impossible words – everything stops.

Time, itself, seems to crash to a halt.

“Lucius…” I murmur his name, not believing that the moment is real. Marriage to Lucius – both avoiding it and desperately desiring it – is practically all that I’ve thought about since meeting him and learning of the pact. And yet I’m still unable to believe my ears, and I keep searching the endless, dark depths of his eyes, wanting reassurance that I’m not dreaming. “Lucius…?”

He squeezes my hands more tightly, pressing them harder to his chest. “I want to ask you – in this place where we were promised to one another by mandate – to marry me not because doing so is required of you, but because you love me as I love you,” he says. “I ask you to choose me of your own free will, because that is how I choose YOU, Antanasia. Not to fulfill a pact, but to follow my heart, which will settle for nothing less than a life with you by my side.”

I want to scream, “Yes!” Want to cry out and hurl myself into his arms. But my feet seem rooted in place, and my tongue is locked in my mouth. I can’t do anything but meet his eyes, certain that he already sees the answer in mine.

And then –standing before me as an equal, which seems right for Lucius and me – better than having him drop down on bended knee – he poses the question I’ve wanted to hear… maybe since the day I first saw him.

“Antanasia, will you marry me?” He releases one of my hands to stroke my cheek, push my curls away from my face, and his voice is softer, even more tender, as he asks again, almost in a whisper, “Will you, Antanasia? Will you be my wife?”

That naked vulnerability that I’d seen in Lucius’s eyes is echoed in his voice, and it is that sweetness – that unguarded, hopeful request for my promise to always be with him – that finally allows me speak. Because I know that this is the closest that Lucius will ever come to pleading for anything in his entire existence, and he is doing it for me. To show me how much he wants me, too…

“Yes, Lucius!” I cry. At least, I think I cry out. But in truth, my voice is soft, almost choked. “Yes!” I repeat, pulling my hands from his and twining my arms around his neck. I stand on tiptoes to reach him, to whisper in his ear, because I want to tell him, again and again. “Yes, yes, yes…”

He clasps me to himself, whispering in my ear, too. “Thank you, Antanasia… Thank you for loving me…”

We hold each other for a long time as reality sets in. We are getting married, not to fulfill a treaty but because we can’t live without each other…

Then Lucius slips one hand up into my hair and I shift in his arms to see his face again just before he bends to meet my lips with his, kissing me softly. We kiss like that again and again – just gently. It’s like we both recognize this moment as deserving of reverence, just like the space in which it takes place. When Lucius’s rough lips meet my soft ones, with such care, it’s almost as if he’s promising me, “This is how I’ll always care for you...”

And somehow, while we are still kissing, Lucius takes my left hand into his hands and slips a ring onto my finger. I never even notice him reaching into his pocket, have no idea how long he’s held it in his palm.

I know that most girls would probably squeal and pull back, wanting to see the diamond, but I never even open my eyes. I just slip my arms back up around his neck, not caring what the ring looks like. I would be happy with nothing… nothing more than what we are sharing right then…

“Antanasia.”

The voice intruded on my dream, and I rolled sideways, shutting it out, not wanting to leave Lucius – and everything I was reliving – behind. But the voice – Mom’s voice – interrupted again, and I felt pressure on my shoulder as she shook me. “Antanasia!”

“Mom,” I groaned, wanting five more minutes of the dream. “Please…”

But my mother shook me harder, and as I reluctantly opened my eyes, I heard her laughing at me.

I blinked about three times, because sunlight was streaming into my room – and glinting off the huge, sparkling diamond that always adorned my left hand now. A Vladescu family heirloom, which had been removed and hidden by Lucius’s mother, Reveka, as she’d faced her destruction. A vintage treasure that she’d wanted her only son to give to me.

Then I looked to Mom, who seemed happy again, and maybe a little surprised to hear herself say words that kind of shocked me, too, even though I’d been planning, anticipating – and occasionally worrying about – nothing but this day for weeks.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” she urged with a smile. “You’re getting married today!”

Continue to Chapter 13...